Diary entry

Dear Diary,

Vince came today, he wasn't how he used to be, we aren't how we used to be. Things have changed, I've changed. But I wish I hadn't. I wish I didn't need help I wish everything was it used be before I became like this. I've always been like this but that's not the point. He came today and he didn't want to touch me, it's like he didn't love me anymore. His hug was empty and full of nothing but resentment and remorse. I thought he was he would always be there for me but he's not anymore. He says he is but I don't think he will stay for more then a couple more weeks. I told him about the sirens and he said that I am his siren. If that's how I make him feel then he should leave me, I don't want to hurt him, because once the sailors reach the sirens they shipwreck and all the sailors die. It's just a metaphor really, for us. I just don't want him to fall overboard trying to save something that's not worth saving. I say I will take the pills but they all know more than me that I wont.

I just want Vince to remember how things used to be and to love me the way he used to, to hold me, now all we have are empty words that we both don't mean.

I just wish he still loved me. I just don't know if I still love him...